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Tuesday, October 03, 2006

A downfall on achieving my claimed creativity

I got a casual call last night from a friend who worried about me after reading my blogs. She said it felt so lonely, or maybe depressing. She was pretty much aware that I might be on that state, after all she may be the reason I am in that state. She was my former girlfriend and we just broke up three months ago.

The first few days of our break up, honestly, did not made much impact on me. Probably I was still harboring the madness I felt against her. Slowly my emotions seemed to leap out of my heart through time and that madness turned to resentment. I seemed to be a turtle always hiding inside my shell taking the pleasure from the darkness my soul felt.

I began to write. Placed some illustrations on the sides of my lyrics. It felt good. It was heroin during my lowest ebb. Funny to say that when I began to delve into these emotions it felt like home. The negativity I felt ate my very soul and not once did I resisted it.

14 years ago:
“Pre, sobrang lalim mo naman. Wag ka bibitaw sa katotohanan baka mabaliw ka!”(Friend, you’re too deep. Try to hang on to reality or you might lose your mind)
Redel S.
During our drinking sessions

Katha in my soul. A scar made to be an emblem in the center of my heart. (Journey Chronicles)
posted by Mon Paningbatan at 9:28 PM, | | Digg!